Cultivating Marriage

Recently, I was reflecting on the up and down seasons of marriage. I was thinking about married people that I know who were once so in love 10+ years ago, but now they are barely holding their marriage together. I was thinking about how some of those people were once the of BEST friends and CLOSEST of lovers, yet 10+ years later, they share the same home but are scarcely even friends anymore. If you are one whose marriage is struggling, I want this post to be an encouragement to you. I want you to know that you are not alone and I do NOT look down on you. Marriage can honestly be so hard at times.

One time this summer, I felt the Father saying to me, "It's not enough that your marriage is doing well right now...you need to help others...because one day, if your marriage is struggling, you will need others to help you..." That's the reality of life, there are ups and downs...no one is perfect. I am happily married to an amazing man, and we have had our share of ups and downs. But our ups and downs do not define us or our marriage. Every marriage needs the body of Christ to rejoice with us in our high times and strengthen and encourage us in our weak times.

Ecclesiastes 4: 9-10 says, Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!

If your marriage is struggling, please reach out to someone who can help (maybe a pastor, counselor, an older married friend that you respect, etc.). You are not alone. Let the body of Christ around you offer help!

Something I have learned in our almost 16 years of marriage, is that marriage is a gift that needs cultivating, just like anything else worthwhile in life. There are "weeds" that come in at times that need to be plucked out. There are hardships that may come and you need to choose to stand together. There are mistakes and hurts that we each inevitably make, but we need to forgive and not look back. I randomly checked out this book from the library. It was a great read. It's called 7 Things He'll Never Tell You (but you need to know), by Dr. Kevin Leman. I have a passion to see marriages growing and thriving. I enjoy reading books like this periodically in order to remind myself to keep growing and learning about my husband (and myself).

If you are married, I really encourage you to do one thing to bless your spouse today! May your marriage and family be richly blessed. My husband and I go on a weekly date to cultivate our marriage. Our weekly date is an anchor in our lives. Even when our schedules are insanely busy (like this past month), our dates keep us connected and in tune to one another. I am so grateful for my hard working, incredible husband! I am so thankful that he takes the time to make me and the kids a priority. Thank you my love, you are a wonderful husband and father. 

❤️To parents with younger kids- when our kids were younger, we would try our best to carve out time for an at home date. We didn't get to leave the house much in those years because we didn't have the finances to always pay for a sitter. Now that I have teens, they can watch themselves, so we get to go out for our dates. My point in sharing about our weekly date is to encourage others to make intentional time each week for connection with your spouse! It is so worth it (and if you don't schedule it in, it could very easily get lost in the busy pace of life).